WHY ARE YOU VOTING DEMOCRAT THIS YEAR? (sarcasm... at it's best)

~~ I'm voting Democrat this year because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the that money I earn than I would. (don't they always?)

~~ I'm voting Democrat this year because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. (well, of course)

~~ I'm voting Democrat this year because, when we pull out of Iraq, I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.
(wait... they didn't think that before??)

~~ I'm voting Democrat this year because, Bush's handling of Katrina was just horrible but it's ok that the Obama administration allowed the largest oil spill in US history to happen and refused to meet and discuss it with the leader of BP for over 50 days. Obama had better things to do... right? Besides... he didn't cause the oil spill. (oh... that's right. Bush didn't cause the hurricane either. I forgot. Oh, well... no matter...)

~~ I'm voting Democrat this year because I believe that the same people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

~~ I'm voting Democrat this year because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
(those inmates have feelings & are voters too... right?)

~~ I'm voting Democrat this year because I agree with Mexican President Felipe Calderone... the USA needs to have immigration laws that allows mexicans to sneak across our border and drain the US of it's resources (can you spell s-o-c-i-a-l-i-s-m?) as long as Mexico still maintains the right to jail or kill Guatemalans, Salvadorans, and Nicaraguans for sneaking into Mexico. (My God! Why on Earth would ANYONE want to sneak into Mexico? How bad must it be in those countries?)

~~ I'm voting Democrat this year because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. If they (I) DO make a profit, I should immediately give it to the government for redistribution as the GOVERNMENT sees fit.
(I trust them. Don't YOU? No? Hmmm...)

~~ I'm voting Democrat this year because I believe three or four pointy-headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

~~ I'm voting Democrat this year because I believe that, after the terrorists no longer have to hide from us over there, when they come over here I don't want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.
(I'll just talk them into submission like a good liberal)

~~ I'm voting Democrat this year because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.
(after a good shower and some deodorant... for the horse.)

~~ I'm voting Democrat this year because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
(How can it be obscene? I mean I already pay 33% income tax to them...)